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Poem by Jan Price – Poet on Tour with the Welsh Arts Council

March 11, 2017
by British Residents In Malta
0 Comment

My husband is on a diet

he has started skipping, hopping

it`s murder in the supermarket

whenever we go shopping.

I`m not allowed a biscuit

chocolate, sweets or cake

so I go along with everything

for his beer belly sake.

He says..the cat it eats too much

it`s eating like a hog

it should find mice are rather nice

and we shouldn`t spoil the dog.

We are into fruit and pasta

we are eating fish like mad

eating lettuce every day

it really is quite sad.

Then on the weekend he goes down the pub

and does he give up beer?

does he ask for slim line

or grapefruit juice..no fear

he is quaffing great big pints of ale

I ask about the diet

Let me do it my way he says

So Iv`e gone rather quiet.

I have secret bars of chocolate

I`m having secret steaks

at weekends I`m on the brandy

jellies tarts and cakes

It`s funny he says, we are not losing weight

after all our strong endeavour

in fact husband, cat and dog and me

are all quite bigger than ever.

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